


Can't Please Them

by disdainfullady



Category: Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-11
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-02-04 07:51:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1771396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disdainfullady/pseuds/disdainfullady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written post "Leave it to Beaver" - the revelations of Lilly's secret threw me.  I wrote this fic and one other to regain my perspective on the character.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Please Them

Lilly was used to being second rate. Daughter, girlfriend, student. It didn’t really matter what she did, her brother or her best friend did it first, and did it better. Well, except for sex, but hey, Veronica came off as an even shinier prize for not being a slut. Certainly Duncan thought so.

There wasn’t a whole lot she could do about it. It wasn’t Duncan’s fault that their parents thought he walked on frigging water. It wasn’t Veronica’s fault that she practically did. Much as Lilly wanted to hate them both, she couldn’t do it. They were the only people in the world who hadn’t tried to change her, who didn’t constantly compare her to, well, them. So she just held the two of them close and told the rest of the world to go to hell. And proceeded to mess up as spectacularly as she could.

Logan was supposed to be another mistake.

Celeste had dragged them all to welcome the new family like they were the Waltons or something, and the opportunity to meet Aaron Echolls was cool enough that she didn’t push for much of a bribe. Later on she didn’t remember much of that first meeting, except for iciness of Mommy Dearest’s disapproval and the awkwardness of Dad’s silence when Logan didn’t behave as if he too was on some wholesome family show. That had been enough.

For a while it had seemed like she couldn’t have made a more perfect choice. Logan was up for anything and seemed to want to spite his parents as much as she did hers. They were a perfect couple, and sure enough, Celeste had been furious, Dad disappointed, and the various other adults alternately scandalized or appalled by the two of them. Veronica and Duncan, being themselves, were the only ones to withhold judgment. They had simply welcomed Logan into their little circle with open arms, and Logan of course loved them – the way everyone did.

She wasn’t sure when she realized that Logan wasn’t using her like she’d thought he was. Like she was using him. Maybe it was when he’d gone out of his way to get her a really thoughtful birthday present, or when his parents took off for a weekend and instead of throwing a bender, he’d planned a romantic retreat for two. All she knew was that one day she’d caught him looking at her like Duncan looked at Veronica, like she was something magical and precious. Like he was lucky to be around her. She’d panicked. 

She wasn’t Veronica Mars. She never could be. Veronica was girlfriend material, as in bring her home to mother – well any mother who wasn’t evil - material. Lilly was a good time. A fun date. A roll in the sack. Desirable sure, but not beloved.

She knew she wouldn’t be able to handle it when she disappointed him too. When she lost him because she just wasn’t good enough. He wasn’t supposed to be serious in the first place. So she vowed to do the next guy she saw and make sure some version of it got back to him. If you can’t please them, piss them off right?

The next guy happened to be Eli Navarro.

You’d think you could trust the head of the local biker gang to be callous about sex. That he’d appreciate the offer and that would be the end of things. Just her luck that she’d happened to run into the one damn tough guy who cared more about treating her like a princess than appreciating that she was easy, which, damn it, wasn’t supposed to happen except in movies. But when she went back to Logan, he didn’t even hate her for it. He just looked at her like she’d betrayed him. Like she was worth more than that. And she couldn’t figure out how to tell him she wasn’t.

Even worse, instead of being pissed off by her betrayal, Logan was just hurt. He was supposed to drop her, instead he sought reassurance that she cared. But she couldn’t let herself care, because if she cared, then when he figured things out, she would be the one who was destroyed.

Her parents, teachers, even Veronica and Duncan – though she knew they loved her – had long ago given up expecting anything of her. It was almost funny that the only people who looked for her to be better than she was were a spoiled semi-alcoholic rich kid and the kid from the wrong side of the tracks. And once they’d finished with her, once even they had discovered she was worthless, what would be left?

She was going to die from the weight of their expectations.

Aaron Echolls was a way of warning them both off. Of showing them exactly who she was. Surely Logan couldn’t cherish her if he found out she’d done his dad. Surely Weevil would stop acting like she’s too good for him when he heard.

Aaron was perfect. He knew exactly what she was good for and didn’t hesitate to let her know it. She couldn’t fail him because he had no expectations beyond a good time. She could give a good time. 

She wasn’t Veronica Mars. And she never could be. She’d never be good enough, never be smart enough, never be anything except a piece to throw on your arm – or on the bed. And the sooner Logan and Eli realized it, the better it would be for all of them.


End file.
